Tag Archive for Women

No Competition!

women-no-competition
This week’s guest blogger is none other than the Queen Supreme herself, Ms. Ieshia Farmer. Ieshia was crowned Ms. S.C. Plus America 2015 and is the founder of Esther’s Jewels Girls Purity Ministry
(www.facebook.com/esthersjewels). I’ve asked Ieshia to address an issue that I think is unfortunately very relevant in the body of Christ today, especially among women. That is competitive jealousy. I’ve been tempted with it myself and have recently asked the Lord to search my own heart for any sign of that pesky spirit lurking around. I want my heart and all my motives to always remain pure before God so that I can continue to be used by Him. If you’re like me and want to know how to overcome competitive jealousy from a beauty queen and woman of God’s perspective, read on. Speak, Ieshia! 
As a 30-something year old woman, I have experienced, and even contributed to, competing with other women. It can be the smallest things that breed competition: careers, fashion, friendship, and the ultimate one…men. Why do we do this? I have developed my own philosophy for why women compete.
1. We lack confidencompetece in ourselves.
2. We see in other women the things that we don’t see in ourselves.
3. We have allowed society’s standards for us to make us feel like we are inadequate, resulting in seeing other women as a threat.
4. We weren’t taught that we are good enough.
5. We are afraid of not fitting in.
6. We allow our emotions to guide us.
In a world that doesn’t associate femininity with power, we are sometimes forced to direct our disdain toward one another. Instead of seeing the bigger problem, we pinpoint the negative in among ourselves. Isn’t this how the enemy works? He looks for ways to create confusion and separation among God’s people. Where is the easiest place to start? With women! What we don’t always realize is that our influence on the Earth is greater than we will ever know. This is evident dating back to the Garden of Eden in the book of Genesis. Eve’s influence in Adam’s choices was powerful. He may not have even known that he wanted to taste the fruit, but he was so engulfed in Eve’s desire that he didn’t even have the opportunity to think for himself.
I often read posts and quotes that are shared on social media pertaining to women being compared to flowers in a garden. One that stands out is by Miranda Kerr. “A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too.” We are all beautiful in our own way. The garden of life is full of so many beautiful, talented women of God. Each flower has a different purpose. The rose is never consumed with the progress of the lily’s growth, it just grows. We should be the same way.
God calls us all to different Kingdom assignments. If we focus on our own personal spiritual growth, we would not be consumed with competing. If we see one another as sisters in Christ, we will learn to be more encouraging. The Earth is large enough for us all to have an influence in the places where God sends us. We are all gifted in so many ways. We must learn to embrace everyone’s gifts. As women, we have to celebrate one another. Stop looking for the flaws in one another. Stop seeing one another as competition. Stop feeling like another one has the upper hand. Stop listening to gossip about and backbiting one another. Stop participating in situations that don’t help us gain any fruit. Embrace the greatness in the next woman, and be satisfied with who you are.
Now let’s discuss. Can you suggest other ways to overcome competitive jealousy among one another? Don’t forget to like, comment, and share if this has blessed you.
Ieshia FarmFB_IMG_1466649032404er was born, raised, and currently resides in Sumter, South Carolina. She is the Co-Founder of Ragin Preparatory
Christian Academy in Sumter, Founder of Esther’s Jewels Girls Purity Ministry, and  member of Kingdom M-Pact Worship Center.

The Similarities of Sisters and Swine

pig_ringWhat does a nose ring-clad pig and a woman who uses poor judgment have in common? Well, let’s first explore the ridiculousness of swagged-out swine. No really. It’s ridiculous. And so is thinking that good looks and thickness in the hips and lips is what gives you value as a woman. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are (although being up in age and having this mindset does up the level of ridiculosity), you are not and should never be defined by your exterior, or your posterior for that matter. Use of discretion (making sound, godly decisions) coupled with beauty (inner is more important than outer) is what we should strive to develop and walk in as women of God.

King Solomon realized the value of discretion in a woman in Proverbs 11:22.

“Beauty in a woman without good judgment is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” (GNT)

Besides being ridiculous, a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a major devaluing of what is made to have great value. The ring ends up wallowing in the same mud and slop as the pig it’s attached to, and in that state it isn’t fit to adorn anybody’s hand as it should. It would have to be removed from its previous environment, washed thoroughly clean, and placed in the possession of someone who would properly care for it before being able to shine and add that expected bling factor.

Well, my sister this describes the sanctification process for believers as well. The blood of Jesus cleanses us from unrighteousness, delivers us from the hands of satan and places us into the hands of our Heavenly Father, and we must remove ourselves from our former environment and ungodly influences in order to reflect God’s glory in the earth.

It is our job to allow a continual cleansing to occur in our lives by the Word of God. Returning to or staying in the same old environment with the same old friends, hanging out in the same old places, and doing the same old things is what keeps us in the same old defeated, misused, and abused state. It’s time for a real, lasting change, and that starts with a decision from you.

When I was about 18 years old I had a life changing come-to-Jesus moment. I had just graduated from high school and was a few weeks away from going off to basic training in the Army Reserves. Now having access to the local Army base, I decided to attend a concert with a friend of mine to hear one of my favorite male singing groups perform.

I wanted to look my best and a little sexy too, so I wore a slinky, form fitting dress with no support for the my girls (If you know what I mean). I was so sexy (and I guess groupy looking) that one of the members of the group invited me to his hotel room. In retrospect I realize that was a trap set by satan to get me in a compromising position literally, but in my eighteen year-old head I thought this was an awesome opportunity to hang out with a celebrity. How cool? Not cool at all because what I thought was an innocent and fun after party turned into  a proposition for sex. Thankfully, I declined the offer. Thankfully I made it out of there without something terrible happening to me. Nevertheless I was still devastated. I felt foolish because I misinterpreted his intentions. What about me said “I’m easy” to him? I wondered. I’m sure my outfit and the fact that I ended up following their limousine to the gas station had something to do with it. At that moment I decided that I didn’t ever want anybody ever again to draw that conclusion about me. When I got home I cleaned my closet of all suggestive clothing (including the dress I had on) and asked the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom and a conviction about my appearance to avoid sending the wrong messages to men.

Just in case you think you’re off the hook because you are already modest in your dress, good judgment also applies to non-clothing related things as well. It applies to any decision you make that either brings shame or glory to the God you serve. It applies to the things you say, the things you post, how you treat people, what you do when no one is looking, and how you respond in tough situations. Do your current actions honor God or do they offend Him? Do they make you a beacon of light or a promoter of darkness? Think about that the next time you pose for a picture or share intimate details of your life with others that really are none of their business anyway. Think about that when things or people make you angry or an opportunity to do something dishonest presents itself.

I want to strongly encourage you make a decision today to be the woman God has called to be and shun the woman the world is saying you should be. You are a precious jewel in the sight of your Father and have been snatched out of the pig’s snout (aka.the world) for His holy purposes. Think it, live it, and be proud of it!