The Promise Fulfilled
In April of 2011, at the age of thirty, I married the man of my dreams. After all the years of waiting and wishing, hoping and praying, God sent my prince. And what’s ironic about our love story is that during all the years of waiting and wishing, hoping and praying, he (my husband) had been there all along. I was just too blind to see it. For years we had shared a church. We had heard the same sermons and shared the same beliefs, but we were totally oblivious to the possibility of being with each other. All the time I wondered, Where is my future husband and when will we meet? Yeah, sure, I dated “unsuccessfully” for quite some time, not even realizing the blessing that was right under my nose, or more appropriately, a few pews over, waiting to be revealed by God and acknowledged by me.
I worried that God, with His sense of humor, would send me someone whom I would least expect as my mate. “Please Lord, don’t let it be someone I’m not attracted to,” I would beg. I wanted him to be good- looking, saved, and a member of my church—a BMW—Black Man Worshiping. Well, I got all that and more in my husband, Russell.
What I’ve learned from my experience is that I was so obsessed with the idea of being married that I became blind to reality. Blindness here is not just the inability to see, it’s the inability to see clearly and with sound judgment, as one should. Let me explain.
Sometimes, when looking too hard for anything, one never sees it staring them right in the face—right where it should be or where it was left.
I recently misplaced my digital camera battery charger. I searched and searched everywhere I thought it would be, but to no avail. Finally, I decided to just buy another one to replace it since I would need my camera in the near future. I quickly changed my mind though when I found out how much a replacement would cost. Not wanting to spend the money myself, I asked my husband to buy it for me as a Christmas gift.
A few days before Christmas, I decided to tidy up my room a bit. I threw away junk mail and all sorts of other clutter invading my space. After about an hour of this, I discovered my battery charger right where I had left it and where I had looked for it weeks before. I couldn’t find it then for two reasons: first, it was hidden by piles of junk and second, I was focusing too hard on it. It wasn’t until I straightened up a few things and forgot about my hunt for it that it presented itself to me. The same is true in the case of my husband. Like the battery charger, he was right before my eyes, right where God put Him and where I believed he would be, but he was concealed by both my superficial expectations and my obsession to find him. Yes, ladies, I said “find him,” which was my mistake. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) that,“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” I wasn’t supposed to be searching in the first place! And then there was my lengthy list of desirable qualities.
The laundry list went on and on: he should be this complexion, have this job, make this amount of money, stand this tall, and be this age. Not to forget, he must be saved and share my same beliefs concerning spiritual matters. Over the years, however, the former list began to dwindle and the latter became paramount. It became more important to me that my husband possess certain spiritual qualities like patience, generosity, kindness, gentleness, faith, and love. If he had all these things, then quite naturally all the rest of the physical attributes would follow. And they did. While my husband doesn’t earn a six-figure salary or drive a fancy car, he makes me very happy, and we complement each other quite well both physically and spiritually.
Now, you may also be at a place in your life where you desire to be married and are wondering, perhaps a little more often than you’d like, when you will meet your mate or when you will marry the one you’re dating now. Fear of the unknown may be causing you to be anxious, and you may be tempted to step ahead of God in the process. But hold on, my sister! Don’t give up! This book is for you.
The Bible clearly states that God is no respecter of persons, which means that what He’s done for me, He can and will do for you. I want to challenge you to take a step of faith and wait for your mate. This book contains the nine key strategies that I have learned along the way that may help you WAIT ON GOD.
One last note: at the end of each chapter, you will find a section titled “The Waiting Room.” This is a section for the ideas I’ve presented in that chapter. There are questions and writing prompts designed to help you self-reflect and confessions designed to help build your faith in each area. Here you are safe to explore, ponder, brainstorm, express your thoughts, and encourage yourself in the Lord with no limitations. Don’t worry about right or wrong—just be honest with yourself and let God direct you as He chooses! Happy waiting!
Briana G. Whitaker