Tag Archive for responsibility

When Marriage Trumps Shopping

I love to shop. Even mIMG_0045ore than that I love to find killer outfits for a bargain. With all the options and my extreme indecisive nature, my search for THE perfect dress at THE perfect price for my launch party has been a challenge. But this post is not so much about the dress as it is about what occurred today as I was on the hunt for it.

I decided to travel about an hour away from home to look for a dress today at my favorite discount department store–Ross. Mind you, I had already purchased a dress last week from a different Ross that was nice, but I didn’t quite get the feeling that it was THE ONE, so the search continued. I perused the racks for all of the viable options (I found about eight) and headed to the dressing room. One after one I tried them on. Not all of them were in the running for launch party dress, but they were on sale so the shopaholic in me couldn’t resist giving them a try.

Then the indecisive me kicked in. I narrowed it down to two possibilities, but couldn’t decide which one said what I wanted it to say. I’m sure the women out there understand what I mean when I say my clothes should talk. They should speak to me and to everyone who sees me in them. The way I know that a dress is perfect for me is if it says “Girl, you look good! Buy me!” What it should say to others depends on the occasion and the look I’m trying to achieve. For my launch party I’m going for classy sexy, you know something that screams “sophisticated author” . Since I couldn’t interpret the language of these particular selections, I asked someone else’s opinion, which is not unusual for me. The salesperson seemed friendly and accommodating enough so I modeled for her. I walked out in the first dress, which was a red lacy sheath dress.

“Ok. Turn around and let me see the back,” the salesperson said emotionless.

I turned around in a circle to let her take in the entire look, pausing to get some indication of her opinion.

“Next,” she said.

Obviously that one was either too quiet or mute.

“How about this one?” I asked as I came out in my other choice, a red and black A-line dress with a satin bottom.

“Now that is the one!” she said. There was the emotion and enthusiasm. “It fits perfectly and looks very classy,” she went on–and on. It was equally obvious that this was speaking her language.  I can admit that it did say part of what I wanted it to say, which is classy, but the sexy part was still lacking in my opinion.

At that point I went on and bought the second dress anyway since it got such rave reviews from the salesperson and a few onlookers, but I still wasn’t completely sold. As I was leaving the store a thought popped into my head. Maybe I can go back to the other Ross and find something better.  Surely they’ve gotten in a new shipment of dresses since the last time I was there. Not knowing how to get there from this location, I consulted Siri. The distance was 74 miles and would take 1 hour and 45 minutes to travel. Yikes! I was already out later than I had originally planned, and I told my husband that I would be back home shortly. Besides, he wouldn’t quite understand my need to keep searching for the perfect dress, especially if it meant traveling a much further distance and being gone all day. Then for a split second I missed my single life.        

You see, if I was still single I would have taken that trip with no hesitation. I’d drive that nearly two hours with no guarantee of finding the sought-after perfect dress and think about it later. But since I’m married I have to think about things from a married woman’s perspective. My husband would not like it very much if I came home after dark with yet another dress without considering him, and honestly speaking I wouldn’t like it if he did something without considering me. The shopaholic in me tried to justify my desire to keep looking by saying I could just pick up dinner on the way home, but the wife in me knew better. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of my responsibility as a married woman. It’s not all about me anymore. My responsibility is now to another, and that’s alright with me. It’s the life I chose and it is a blessing to me just as being single is to the single woman. For me, the blessing is that marriage keeps me grounded. More specifically, being married to my husband keeps me grounded and rational when I’m sometimes irrational. As I thought about it some more I realized another reason that it wouldn’t have been a wise thing to make that trip. My phone’s battery life was low and I didn’t have my car charger. Not only would I have been gone much longer, but I wouldn’t have been able to call anyone had something happened to me on the road. So I drove past the exit to the other store and headed home to my husband. The funny thing is, I received a text from my him on my way back asking me to bring home dinner and peach tea. I knew it was the Holy Spirit who advised me to go home, and I’m glad I listened. Besides, Ross will still be there tomorrow. 🙂